Yes, I was a loser.
Right now it does seem impossible and I am fetching all sorts of help to get to what once I did all by myself. Yes, Not more than 3-4 years back I lost an enormous weight to reach a whooping 47 kgs. It is indeed a sensitive topic but as long as I'm working I have no shame in accepting it because it takes real courage to get going, striving for a change and even more to accept it. Those days I was more than obese. They were my early teens and people all around left no stone unturned to make me feel different and less of. Some of my own people calling me useless. Coming home from school to my couch and cartoons on television everyday for hours until evening, not even bothering to take off the uniform that felt tight. Nothing was to change anyway! I just lay staring the ceiling. Probably then the criticism started working. Maybe if not lose anything, I could stop lying and feeling worthless and get up and do SOMETHING. Being an avid reader I designed an exercise program for myself and started following it. I had no weighing machine, no trainer, no dietitian only criticism that pushed me harder and harder each day. My conscious told me the right foods and eating became a mere survival need, indulging I never did. I included new exercises, saw new inspirations and before I knew and before I realised, people started telling my mom to feed me well as my cheek bones were predominant on my face. But me and my mom both knew I was healthy. That day I went over to check my weight, it was 47. These girls who teased me and all others around asked me tips and my ways, I wish I could tell them it is you guys I want to thank who constantly told me I couldn't, is why I could.
Honestly, losing all of that was easy what was difficult was sustaining it. Because growing up gave me more reasons and hidden potentials to feel confident about. The criticism slowly stopped bothering me and that's how I started losing out my control on my fitness. Because folks, fitness is not something you were or something you did but something you strive for everyday. A temple you crave and polish the stones of everyday. I lost my motivation. As it is, it was to be lost as the source of my motivation was faulty, true motivation comes from within. When there's something that keeps you so determined you can barely be diverted and sleep and wake up to that one goal is when it's coming to you. Today I'm way way more than what I used to weigh, but, I'm hell more confident, upright, stable, independent and optimistic. The food that I eat is heavenly to my taste buds and I thank god for each bite I get. Being a foodie has it pros and cons and I yes I put on alot, but from the past few months I'm atleast maintaining a constant digit, no more acceleration. And I hope to reach where I once used to be with the powers in me. This reminds me of a story I keep hearing from my mentor; Once when the gods made the earth with all the stars and other planets, air, water, mountains etc. they felt it to be boring that's when they added color with plants and herbs and shrubs. They still found it to be less appealing and wanted something that was more mobile and moved too and fro. They created animals. All sorts of them, yet not satisfied. Then they created these highly intelligent and capable beings, humans anddddd felt content over their creations but now the great challenge that lay ahead of them was where to hide all of these exponentially high powers. One of them suggested to hide them under the deepest oceans, the other answered that the National Geographic people will ultimately find it; some suggested to hide them inside the earth or over the skies, all were defeated with the same answer. Finally with alot of precision and discussion they decided to hide it within the heads of humans where they would never look for it. And hence hid the enormous powers inside the human brain. So stop looking outside mortals, all is there within you.
So yes I am a loser of enormous calories even after gaining more than the lost back but I'll more proudly announce that more than the calories lost, gained or still filling or flushing out of me, if measured on a scale of potentiality the digits and numbers are exponentially higher than the weight I carry. Happiness can be a destination or a road, whatever it is for you never stop reaching out to that.
xx
Honestly, losing all of that was easy what was difficult was sustaining it. Because growing up gave me more reasons and hidden potentials to feel confident about. The criticism slowly stopped bothering me and that's how I started losing out my control on my fitness. Because folks, fitness is not something you were or something you did but something you strive for everyday. A temple you crave and polish the stones of everyday. I lost my motivation. As it is, it was to be lost as the source of my motivation was faulty, true motivation comes from within. When there's something that keeps you so determined you can barely be diverted and sleep and wake up to that one goal is when it's coming to you. Today I'm way way more than what I used to weigh, but, I'm hell more confident, upright, stable, independent and optimistic. The food that I eat is heavenly to my taste buds and I thank god for each bite I get. Being a foodie has it pros and cons and I yes I put on alot, but from the past few months I'm atleast maintaining a constant digit, no more acceleration. And I hope to reach where I once used to be with the powers in me. This reminds me of a story I keep hearing from my mentor; Once when the gods made the earth with all the stars and other planets, air, water, mountains etc. they felt it to be boring that's when they added color with plants and herbs and shrubs. They still found it to be less appealing and wanted something that was more mobile and moved too and fro. They created animals. All sorts of them, yet not satisfied. Then they created these highly intelligent and capable beings, humans anddddd felt content over their creations but now the great challenge that lay ahead of them was where to hide all of these exponentially high powers. One of them suggested to hide them under the deepest oceans, the other answered that the National Geographic people will ultimately find it; some suggested to hide them inside the earth or over the skies, all were defeated with the same answer. Finally with alot of precision and discussion they decided to hide it within the heads of humans where they would never look for it. And hence hid the enormous powers inside the human brain. So stop looking outside mortals, all is there within you.
So yes I am a loser of enormous calories even after gaining more than the lost back but I'll more proudly announce that more than the calories lost, gained or still filling or flushing out of me, if measured on a scale of potentiality the digits and numbers are exponentially higher than the weight I carry. Happiness can be a destination or a road, whatever it is for you never stop reaching out to that.
xx
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