Trance

We all are living in a trance. A trance nobody knows of. A trance only we live within of. We are loving, following, cribbing, falling, learning in a trance. Something inside our conscience tells us this is idealistic independent of the world around and we start going around for it. And I personally think I have been living in a trance since childhood, which is gradually breaking as I'm growing up. Like layer by layer its freeing me from the cocoon. I'm more here in this world each passing second. My screen presence in this film of life is getting commendable each passing day. Yes I am falling too and the falls are growing greater in depth but so is my will power. The ardent determination to go through stuff, mediocre cries with the very name of.

All these vacations after tenth grade have been magnificent. I've committed sins I couldn't ever think of. I've gone out to places you cannot imagine of. Attended almost all parties in and around. Regretted not doing some stuff but going over to do something more brilliant the very next day. I've lived it LARGE. Finding new mentors and friends in people I never previously had realization of. AMANVARUNSARTHAKRHEAKUNALRUPINAASHISRISHTIMUSKANSARTHAKKANIKANIKITASMRIDHICHARVIMANYAGRUSHADANISH. Terrace parties, farmhouse parties, random Cannaught place plans, scooty rides, dates, Starbucks and CCDS, results, Chinese and Thai, street shopping, booksbooksbooks, new phone, new room, new colors, new subjects. Everything has metamorphosed so much that I cannot keep check over my grammar. And in between all this freedom and choices I saw myself growing. Exposed so well, I think I can now sustain anywhere (too soon to say though).

All this while I've imbibed so many movies. Differentiated between lust and love well. Read so much. Clicked so many memories. And now am finally penning it all down. Found love and heartbreaks. Dreams that were so close to real; I feel like a story writer whilst seeing them. The many classes I attended. The many friends I made each place I visited. The many people I helped through my writings. The many hearts I healed. The many quotes I built. The many people I inspired to move forth and rise. I feel blessed with all of those capabilites and opportunities too that came my way. But foremost I feel truly truly truly blessed to have a mother and a guardian as my mom. She never forbade me. Guided all along. But never stopped me to reach out for more and more. Even when she knew I was planning a downfall, when I was digging my own grave. Somehow she knew I just needed someone to believe me and put a hand over my forehead and keep me moving forth. She gave me her everything. I have her as my everything.

So many people tell me everyday that they have this strong intuition that I'll rise to a another level someday. I thank them all for the good wills and wishes they hold within. Because rare are ones who accept and appreciate the good as good. Most are busy bitching and envying it over and over. Today if you are reading this and have met me somewhere sometime in my life, I thank you. Thank you for endowing me with a personality as yours. Because however good or bad it was I have this very unfortunate quality of only and always overshadowing the good over bad. Sometimes feeling less because of which too. And yes, however and whatever but if you've managed to stay a while with me and my shit then I am surely keeping you with me for as long and as close as I can. And as I always tell everybody, do nothing but stay. JUST STAY.

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